3 Notes of the Week

1. If you're doing it for a "thank you"...don't do it. 

- If you continuously put in effort toward someone and do not get the appreciation you think you deserve, stop putting in the effort. When we make dinner for someone, and they don't appreciate it- it is on us if we keep making them dinner. We know the response we're getting, if we want appreciation, it isn't going to come from them. 

- The appreciation you receive, or lack there of, does not define the amount of worth your efforts have. You could be an unbelievable chef, don't stop cooking simply because someone doesn't tell you that you're the next Bobby Flay. Or Giada De Laurentiis. 

- Many times, a thank you doesn't feel like enough. Hours upon hours cooking in the kitchen for a thank you? That may not even feel genuine? Though we want someone to thank us for helping in some way, make sure how you're helping makes you feel better about yourself as well. 

2. Put your empathy to good use.

- Showing empathy is one of my strengths. It always has been. However, sometimes I get distracted by it. I feel for someone, and I at times ignore that there were decisions made that could have been helped. It is important to choose where to put your empathetic energy. It doesn't belong everywhere. That's exhausting.

- If someone is making bad decisions repeatedly, it is not on you to sit there and say "I understand how you feel" over and over again. If they want to learn from mistakes, they will. If they don't, do not let them drag you down with them. Your empathy is not to be taken advantage of so use it wisely. 

- People confuse empathy and sympathy all of the time. We mostly talk about this on the giving end, but it also applies to the receiving end. Your "I understand how you feel" might be taken as a "I'm sorry you feel this way," and therefore leaves the person feeling like their bad decisions have been condoned. We have to make our intentions clear. We understand, but we don't accept.

3. You do not have to be who you are currently...forever.

- Whenever someone does something they shouldn't have done, I always hear the response of "that's just who I am though," or "I can't help who I am." ...Yes you can. Look at who you were five years ago. Look at who you are now. I guarantee you've changed in numerous ways without even trying, so imagine if you did try.

- No one is going to tell you who you are supposed to be. There is not a list of characteristics you are supposed to have and are going to have forever. Who you become is up to you. And your idea of who you want to be might change overtime. And that's okay! Don't be afraid of this, be excited about it. 

That's it guys! I hope everyone has had a wonderful week!

- Ali